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A happy marriage
Can love alone really keep a marriage together? No. But if the
love is already there then the rest will fall into place. As long
as you let it. No marriage (at least any that I have known) run
smoothly. We will always disagree on something, argue but that is
what makes us human. I have written a list of things that I think
are essential to a happy marriage.
Communication is essential if you want your marriage to grow. Look
at your pattern of communication. It will surprise you at how much
time you spend talking about work, family, every day life and how
little time you spend talking about you, your relationship and the
plans you once shared. This is a cycle that follows so many of us
into married life. The fact is we just get to preoccupied with our
own life that we forget that we do actually share our life with
another person.
Example: Take the kids to school, go to work, pick kids up, cook
the dinner, do the house work and go to bed.
Communicating with your partner today: "Good morning"
"see you tonight" "hello darling how was your day"
"Billy scored a goal today" "good night"
This can become a routine that we so easily get into but can be
a lot harder to get out of. Most of us lead very hectic life's but
we must make the time to talk with each other. Take time out to
talk, to share your feelings, your ideas and just get to know each
other again.
Make time for each other. Monday night different shifts, Tuesday
in front of the TV, Wednesday bingo, Thursday Billy`s football,
Friday darts match, Saturday night out with the girls, Sunday In-laws.
With all this going on where is the quality time spent with your
partner? THERE IS`NT. Sitting in front of the TV does not mean quality
time together. You will both have different activities that the
other dislikes which is the time you will spend on your own or with
friends. But you must make time to enjoy doing things as a couple.
This could be taking the dog for a walk in the park, going to the
cinema (if you like the same movies). Arrange it so that one night
a week is kept free so that you can spend it together.
Another point that I must stress is that you need time apart. Allow
the other to do his/her own thing as quality time to yourself is
also vital to making your relationship work.
Trust. A relationship can not work without trust on both sides.
The key to trust is do not give your partner a reason to distrust
you. If you do (or think you do) have a reason to distrust your
partner tell him/her how you feel. Talk things through reassure
each other that you are loyal and that you are devoted to them and
them only.
Never argue over money. This might sound like a silly thing to
put on a list of how to keep your marriage happy but it has worked
for me. My partner and I promised each other that we would never
be greedy with money or argue about it and we haven`t. I See it
so often where relationships break down because of arguing over
money. If money problems do a rise and they often do sit down and
discuss them properly. Ask yourself if you don`t have the money
for something can arguing make it appear? NO.
Accept change. Being married is a world apart from dating and even
living together. Both you and your partner will change and may want
to change each other. Accept that things will change once you are
married. You must be prepared to grow and learn as your marriage
grows.
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