A Happy Marriage
Can love alone really keep a marriage together? No. But if the love is already there then the rest will fall into place. As long as you let it. No marriage (at least any that I have known) run smoothly. We will always disagree on something, argue but that is what makes us human. I have written a list of things that I think are essential to a happy marriage.
Communication is essential if you want your marriage to grow. Look at your pattern of communication. It will surprise you at how much time you spend talking about work, family, every day life and how little time you spend talking about you, your relationship and the plans you once shared. This is a cycle that follows so many of us into married life. The fact is we just get to preoccupied with our own life that we forget that we do actually share our life with another person.
Example: Take the kids to school, go to work, pick kids up, cook the dinner, do the house work and go to bed.
Communicating with your partner today: "Good morning" "see you tonight" "hello darling how was your day" "Billy scored a goal today" "good night"
This can become a routine that we so easily get into but can be a lot harder to get out of. Most of us lead very hectic life's but we must make the time to talk with each other. Take time out to talk, to share your feelings, your ideas and just get to know each other again.
Make time for each other. Monday night different shifts, Tuesday in front of the TV, Wednesday bingo, Thursday Billy's football, Friday darts match, Saturday night out with the girls, Sunday In-laws. With all this going on where is the quality time spent with your partner? THERE IS'NT. Sitting in front of the TV does not mean quality time together. You will both have different activities that the other dislikes which is the time you will spend on your own or with friends. But you must make time to enjoy doing things as a couple. This could be taking the dog for a walk in the park, going to the cinema (if you like the same movies). Arrange it so that one night a week is kept free so that you can spend it together.
Another point that I must stress is that you need time apart. Allow the other to do his/her own thing as quality time to yourself is also vital to making your relationship work.
Trust. A relationship can not work without trust on both sides. The key to trust is do not give your partner a reason to distrust you. If you do (or think you do) have a reason to distrust your partner tell him/her how you feel. Talk things through reassure each other that you are loyal and that you are devoted to them and them only.
Never argue over money. This might sound like a silly thing to put on a list of how to keep your marriage happy but it has worked for me. My partner and I promised each other that we would never be greedy with money or argue about it and we haven't. I See it so often where relationships break down because of arguing over money. If money problems do a rise and they often do sit down and discuss them properly. Ask yourself if you don't have the money for something can arguing make it appear? NO.
Accept change. Being married is a world apart from dating and even living together. Both you and your partner will change and may want to change each other. Accept that things will change once you are married. You must be prepared to grow and learn as your marriage grows.